[[Notes]] - Topics: [[Self-understanding]] - People: [[Evy Poumpouras]] - Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V35_LTH-8cI --- ## Summary - [[We like to label people because it's easy]]. - [[Don't label the person, label the behaviour.]] That is how you know who you have in front of you. - [[Talk less, listen more.]] - [[When we shut up, we make space for people to reveal themselves.]] ## Notes ### Starting out... - (Evy worked as a US Secret Service agent). - The US Secret Service was under the Department of Treasury. When you first start off as an agent, you're going to work on small cases. - One of the cases, Evy had called a woman who claimed they didn't get their tax refund cheque. Evy tried contacting them multiple times. - "In my head, I had labeled her my victim." ### (Lack of) Awareness - Because Evy had labeled her as victim, she went into the in-person conversation at a diner with that narrative. - Apparently, there was a man surveilling Evy and her partner during the conversation. - "As an agent, you have to have situation awareness." - "I missed it. My partner missed it." - "I wasn't letting this new information come in. I couldn't see and think clearly for myself." ### Experience and realization - Evy became a polygraph examiner. - After polygraph training, Evy reflected and realized that the "victim" at the diner completely took advantage of her. - "She didn't look like somebody I should be worried about." - "I labeled her. I couldn't see clearly. I wasn't looking at her behaviour." - When somebody is a victim, they typically want to help you solve a crime - not put up obstacles. - [[Nothing would've changed until I realized I need to focus on behaviour rather than labels]]. ### Labels - [[We like to label people because it's easy]]. - [[It is work to sit with someone and actively listen to what they're saying - what they're showing you.]] - [[Talk less, listen more.]] - [[When we shut up, we make space for people to reveal themselves.]] - [[Don't label the person, label the behaviour.]] That is how you know who you have in front of you. - Labels and biases skew your understanding of the situation and environment. In order to solve problems efficiently, you must approach the situation objectively.