[[Notes]] - Topics: [[Productivity]] - People: [[Mel Robbins]] - Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IOWiMNVpQI --- ## Summary - When you face a [[Friction point]], the natural thing to do is ignore it. You must [[Face the friction]]. - [[Discipline is doing something you hate like you love it]] - especially if it's good for you. - [[You must do the hard thing in order to become better]]. - [[Temporal landmarks]] reveal friction points. These times are the reasons why we're feeling stuck. - [[Take the time to think about your life]]. - Recognize that [[It is not a problem to solve. It is a process to manage.]] - Do the hard work needed to create meaning in your life. ## Notes ### Facing friction - When you're stuck... When you're at a stand-off... It's really hard to do the hard work to get yourself unstuck. To [[Face the friction]]. - Facing the friction pays dividends to your life in a way that creates tremendous meaning. - When the thing you need to do is hard, especially if you know it's important, it's easy to avoid doing it. But [[Discipline is doing something you hate like you love it]]. Just do it. - You can ignore friction points. Most will not go away. They will continuously nag at you, which can create prolonged issues. - The sameness (repetition) in life comes from ignoring the accumulated friction points in your life. ### Instinct - When you face a [[Friction point]], the natural thing to do is to turn away from it. - It is unnatural for us to deal with discomfort and to address difficulty. But that is where growth and opportunity is. [[You must do the hard thing in order to become better]]. - [[The ideal is unnatural naturalness or natural unnaturalness]]. Make it a habit of doing hard things. ### Meaning - We count in base 10 systems. We assign meaning to 10/decade-based milestones. These [[Temporal landmarks]] are moments that encourage us to think more broadly and abstractly. - At the edge of a new decade, people are more reflective of your own lives. These are moments when most people feel quite stuck. As a result, they are more likely to do things they normally wouldn't do. Actions in an effort to get themselves unstuck. - On the milder side, they may start reading self-help books. On the more extreme side, they may sign up to run a marathon. There could also be negative actions. Actions that classify as reactions to "mid-life" crisis-like experiences. - [[Temporal landmarks]] often reveal to us the accumulated friction points that contribute to our current feelings of being stuck. These moments of self-reflection often resort to changes in behaviours and life in order to get ourselves unstuck. To help us discover and become our better and true selves. ### Calibration - We calibrate ourselves in these temporal landmarks. We should do it more often rather than once every decade. - [[The single best thing you can do for yourself is to pull out a blank sheet of paper and go, where is there friction in my life]]. - [[Take the time to think about your life]]. - Think about your life and list out your problems and solutions. [[The first step to solving a problem is to ask a question. The second step is to answer that question.]] - "Stuck" is like your internal GPS signalling you to turn towards a solution. - If you're doing it consistently and correctly, the list should change. If change does occur, it's incredibly reaffirming that you've done something right and that you're moving in the right direction. - There is no end game for this self-calibration. [[It is not a problem to solve. It is a process to manage.]] - Set a goal. An extended defined goal. - Connect with people. To feel a deep sense of connection with other people. - It's not about running a marathon. It's about demonstrating to yourself through the way you're behaving. That you're the kind of people who can seize an opportunity to approach goal and to reach a goal and to succeed. - It's not the goal for goal sake. It's about you moving towards something where you can affirmatively state to yourself, "I have achieved".