[[Notes]] - Topics: [[Communication]] - People: LeeAnn Renniger - Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtl5UrrgU8c --- ## Summary - The art of great feedback is the ability to deliver difficult messages well, and the act of seeking perspectives often. - Start feedback conversations with consent, providing **autonomy** to the receiver and priming them to receive feedback. - **Be objective**. Name specifically what you saw and heard. - Share how those objective instances **impacted** you. - **Separate one's action from one's character**. - [[You are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offence when they are challenged]]. - Impact provides meaning in-between the instances to form insight. - Encourage the other person to respond. Create a problem-solving situation, not a monologue. - [[Talk with people, not at people]]. ## Notes ### The thing we need most. And we're bad at it. - "The tool we most need centers around being able to give and receive feedback well." - Feedback - The art of saying difficult messages well. - Approximately only 26% of employees feel that feedback they receive actually improves their work (Gallup survey - strongly agree). - **Ineffective feedback** comes from delivering messages that are either too soft or too direct. This causes the recipient to be either unaware/confused or to be defensive. - Direct feedback may cause a reaction to move forward with **defensiveness** or move backwards with **defeat**. - The negative reaction to direct feedback causes the feedback giver to dysregulated - back-tracking, adding justifications, and become defensive in return. ### The micro-yes - Start by asking a question that is short but important. - e.g. "I have some ideas on how to improve things. Can I share them with you?" - This preps the brain to receive feedback. - "It creates a moment of buy-in. I can say yes or not to that yes or not questions." - With buy-in comes autonomy. - In this conversation, both the giver and the receiver are equals. [[Talk with people, not at people]]. ### Give your data point - "Name specifically what you saw or heard. **Cut out any words that aren't objective**." - Avoid [[Blur words]]. Use clear, simple, and objective language. Stay focused on the message. - **Convert blur words into data points**. - **Instead of**: - "You aren't reliable". - **Say**: - "You said you'd get that email to me by 11 and I still don't have it yet." - You want to specify exactly what you want the other person to do more of or less of. - Provide data points that are framed to highlight the desired behaviour change. - Sharing what someone has done and what you need (or needed). - Focus on the impact of their actions, rather than attacking their character. ### Show impact - Share how that data point **impacted you**. - Examples: - "Because I didn't get that email, I was blocked on my work." - "I really like how you added those stories. It helped me understand those concepts faster." - Impact provides purpose and meaning in-between the points. This connects them together to encourage insight. ### Question - Encourage the other person to respond by asking a question. - "This is how I see it. What do you think we should do?" - Asking an actionable question creates **commitment rather than compliance**. - Create a joint problem solving situation, not a monologue. ### Asking for feedback - Say messages well. Ask for feedback regularly. - Seek [[Pull feedback]]. Don't wait for [[Push feedback]]. - "The most **challenging situations** are actually the ones that call for the most **skillful feedback**. But it doesn't have to be hard." ## Original ![[The secret to giving great feedback-1.jpg]] ![[The secret to giving great feedback-2.jpg]] ![[The secret to giving great feedback-3.jpg]] ![[The secret to giving great feedback-4.jpg]]