[[Notes]] - Topics: [[Communication]], [[Self-understanding]] - People: [[Douglas Stone]] - Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ggubXdYep8 --- ## Summary - [[In the pursuit of your goals, not every opinion deserves your attention.]] - Before offering feedback, ensure the recipient is prepared to receive it. - Always seek the true intentions behind feedback. - Practice [[No, but...]]. Say no, but provide an alternative solution for you and others to move forward together. - [[No one can make you feel inferior without your consent]]. ## Notes ### Boundaries - Creating boundaries is crucial to receiving feedback well and creating healthy relationships. - Feedback paradox: In order to be able to say yes, you have to be able to say no. - Saying yes to feedback can cause overwhelming pressure over time. This may result in you feeling the relationship rather than engaging with it. - 3 BOUNDARIES: - I'm willing to listen to your advice, but I may not take it. - Right now, your advice is not helpful, so I'd prefer if you not give it to me. - Do not give me advice. Otherwise, I'm going to have to (CONSEQUENCE). ### Saying no - [[In the pursuit of your goals, not every opinion deserves your attention.]] - Before giving feedback, ask if the person is ready to accept it. - "And" is a key word in turning down feedback. - Be firm in turning down feedback, but also appreciate the positive intentions someone has. - Be explicit and firm about your boundaries. - Get their agreement and commitment to your contract for feedback. ### Compromise - By saying no to one thing, you should say yes to another. - Practice [[No, but...]]. Say no, but provide an alternative solution for you and others to move forward together. - Work together with others to improve the situation. ## See also - [[Feedback is not about changing someone's perception, but about fostering awareness of their actions.]] - [[To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.]] - [[There is no failure. Only feedback.]] - [[Do not let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.]] - [[You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.]]